Join me on this journey, that the Lord is leading me on. Come with me on my ups and downs as I learn to walk closer with the Lord and learn who I am in Him. As I follow this path of a writer and see where it leads maybe you can get a few laughs in as well as tears. And maybe just maybe you can learn something from me.
Okay people, I’ve done it. I’ve up and moved my blog. Please come join me at my new blog. And bookmark it! (stop snickering people, someone must have it bookmarked!)
http://heatherdianetipton.blogspot.com/
Blessings Y’all!
My good blogging friend Marilynn Griffith has a book coming out at the end of the month…and everyone of you HAVE GOT TO GO BUY IT! I got my copy of Made of Honor in the mail a couple days ago. I read it in one sitting and enjoyed every minute of it.
Marilynn, Thanks for coming to my blog and answering questions about your wonderful book.
HDT: I loved your book, Made of Honor, what was your favorite part of writing it?
MG: Heather, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I loved writing all of it really (except for the times when I got stuck). I'd never written anything novel length in first person so it was a wild ride. There were also a few characters who just sort of showed up and started talking (Austin, Shemika). I love when that happens.
HDT: You know I'm all about the journey, tell me a little about this journey you are on currently?
MG: Ohhh...the journey. How much time do we have? LOL My journey has recently take some curves and turns but the goal is still the same--Jesus. Writing is often a discovery for me and only when the book is done and someone else points it out do I see how I was learning along with my characters. Even though it's been almost three years since I started MADE OF HONOR, Dana's journey is still my own, trying to love God and allow Him to love me, two simple but difficult things.
HDT: When you are writing how does what is happening to you spiritually effect your writing?
MG: It's huge. There are some times that I feel like "I can't write today, I'm just not in the right place," yet when I press ahead God meets me on the page and I find myself on my knees right at my computer. Other times, I just need to spend time with the Lord and take care of my family and come back to the story. I get most of my great ideas in church!
HDT: Your theme in the book was You are fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Is this a part of the journey God has taken you on?
MG: It is. I think as women living in a world plastered with images of unattainable perfection, it's easy to forget how beautiful we are to God and how much He loves us and intimately wants to know us. Receiving that kind of love and knowing I am the Bride of Christ even when I feel like the Bride of Frankenstein is such a big deal. Moms have loads of guilt anyway, so I still have to really work at keeping this in mind and trying to look at myself and others with God's eyes.
HDT: What was your first feeling/thought when you held your first copy of your book in your hands?
MG: Total meltdown. I stood outside my front door and bawled like a baby. The poor teenage boy across the street is probably still waiting for my strait jacket to arrive. I was just so overwhelmed with thankfulness. It was a long ride.
HDT: Who is the most influential person on your writing?
MG: Hmmm...that's hard. It changes. I can be really into a certain author or musician for a while and then not read them or listen to them for a while. In truth, I'd have to say my husband. Though he doesn't always get what I'm doing, he believes in me. He's done everything possible to make this happen for me. When something is up with him, it's hard for me to concentrate. We're a team in that way.
HDT: What do you want the take away from Made of Honor to be?
MG: Delight yourself in the Lord. Let Him delight in you. Dream the impossible even if it hurts. We've had a hard year around the world and many people are hurting. It's hard to hope when you're hurting. I pray that someone can take away a mustard seed of faith, a sprinkle of hope. I'd love to have someone laugh through her tears.
HDT: And now, because I suck at being a journalist, I'm giving you free reign to say anything you like.
MG: Actually, Heather, you're pretty good! This is like the zillionth interview so I won't say too much for those who are keeping up, but I really do want to thank you Heather and Camy Tang for putting this tour together. The friendship and grace that everyone has extended to me on this tour is a lot of what MADE OF HONOR is about--friends, faith, fun. If you enjoyed this interview, do drop by my website at www.MarilynnGriffith.com and say hello!
HDT: Marilynn, thank you so much for coming to do this, it's been an honor.
MG: The pleasure is all mine. 
Going off the deep end. Yep that’s what I’m doing. No no I’m not going crazy, all though I’m sure there are those that would disagree if they knew what my goals were. Wait….what’s that? Heather has goals?? No freaking way! LOL Yep that’s right folks I have goals. Wanna know what they are? LOL Well I ain’t telling ya. Let’s just say they are very ambitious for someone that has done their best to look lazy.
Couple of weeks ago God nudged me to do something. Writing related. Man it freaked me out. I wanted confirmation. I wanted lotsa confirmation! Guess what? I didn’t get any. LOL But I didn’t get told that I shouldn’t be doing it so I’m taking it as one of those step of faith things. Okay I’ll tell ya. I believe He wants me to pitch two completed books in September. So I finally get to the point of accepting that and He nudges me again. Tells me He said pitch two, He didn’t tell me how many to write. I’m sorry? What was that?
So, for you mathematically challenged, that’s four books in ten months. Stop your gasping and shaking of your heads with the thought poor child she’s done lost it! I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s just something that I totally feel like it’s God. This is what He wants for me in the coming year; I feel it with everything in me. There’s more confidence there then there ever has been. It’s still small but it’s growing. And the fear that usually has me paralyzed… not there. Well not true. It’s there a little… saying yeah it’s all right to be confident when you haven’t started on it but wait til you do! But it’s small and I keep telling it to shut the hell up. Been trying to get this holiday mailing out for my client, when I finish I’ll begin work on everything. I even have a game plan people. Shocked? Yep, me too. LOL
Here’s the thing. I acknowledge that these 4 projects in ten months, is a bit insane. Especially for someone like me but this is the path that God has put me on. I’m going to go after it. I may fail. I may succeed. It doesn’t matter which. Just as long as I obey. And I know doing this is way beyond me, but hey you know, that gives God more glory this way. It’s all about Him. He will get all the credit for this because we both know this isn’t something I can do on my own.
I’m going off the deep end. Won’t be no swan dive… probably be an ugly belly flop but just as long as I get there. I’m diving in.
Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman
The long awaited rains
Have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground
Have carved their way to where
The wild and rushing river can be found
And like the rains
I have been carried here to where the river flows, yeah
My heart is racing and my knees are weak
As I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back
Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice
That's telling me it's time to take a leap of faith
So here I go!
I'm diving in
I'm going deep
In over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush
Lost in the flow
In over my head I want to go
The river’s deep
The river’s wide
The river’s water is alive
So sink or swim I'm diving in
There is a supernatural power
In this mighty river’s flow
It can bring the dead to life
And it can fill an empty soul
And give a heart the only thing
Worth living and worth dying for
But we will never know the awesome power
Of the grace of God
Until we let ourselves get swept away
Into this holy flood
So if you'll take my hand
We'll close our eyes and count to three
And take the leap of faith
Come on let's go!
I'm diving in
I'm going deep
In over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush
Lost in the flow
In over my head I want to go
The river’s deep
The river’s wide
The river’s water is alive
So sink or swim I'm diving in
Blessings y’all!
Okay you people are insane. I don’t like getting tagged to do these things. LOL Dineen kindly asked me if I wanted to be tagged, I in turn kindly said no. LOL Robin up and decides to tag me just to get me to post (Whatever). I not so kindly told her no… she expects me to be rude. LOL (But she knows I love her.) And then it just up and got insane around here. Camy tagged me… hello her and I have had discussions on this! (Traitor! LOL Love you anyways.) (oh and technically Camy tagged me for a different Meme… but I’m not sure I’m doing that one yet. LOL) Then Mary tagged me. (I’ll excuse her because I’m reading her wonderful book right now. LOL Stay tuned for an interview with her coming up soon.) Margaret Daley was next to tag me. (She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met so how could I be mad at her?) The last straw was Paula tagged me tonight. (I can’t tell the woman no.) So here goes.
List 15 facts and personal preferences about books:
1) I love everything about books. The feel, smell, look. Words fascinate me.
2) I could stay in a bookstore for days… would love to be locked up in one for about a week… no employees working there though… well except for the hot guy behind the counter at the starbucks… that lives to serve me of course.
3) In the first grade I read 104 books… got me a nice little certificate for that. I was reading at a higher grade level then the rest of the class. The teacher didn’t believe some of the books that I said I had read so she made me bring one to school the next day and read it in front of the class. I choked. Hello. Me in front of people talking? Does anyone know why that is a bad idea??
4) Favorite books as a kid were The Bobbsey Twins… even with all the inconsistancies in those books. Later it was Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys… which is fitting since the same guy, Edward Stratemeyer, created all three.
5) I have probably close to 3000 books. All but maybe 200 are in storage. Some day I’m going to have a library like in… what was the movie, My Fair Lady?
6) Of those 3000 books… I probably have 500 that are unread. Can you say big TBR pile? LOL
7) And of those 3000 books there are very few books that I will read over again. (why do I keep them if I won’t read them? Well because I LOVE BOOKS!) I just can’t seem to read them more than once. I read the first page and I remember the whole plot of the book. The only books that I can read more than once… Dee Henderson’s books. O’Malley series. And anything by Lisa Samson. I’ve read 6 of her books since May. Read one in May… loved it, found another in my TBR pile. LOVED it. Went and bought another. Loved it. In October I bought three more. I’ve read a couple of them more than once already. (Can I be Lisa when I grow up?)
8 ) Some of the best stuff I’m reading right now hasn’t been published yet… and it SO should be. (hmm not quite about books…. But they are SOON to be books!)
9) Dude I’m only on 9?? Y’all know I’m not intelligent enough for this right? I don’t have deep thoughts. Sheesh. Okay. 9. I would name my favorite authors off but I would forget someone and some of them read this blog… so we aren’t offending those cool people… does this count as a fact? Well it’s my blog and by golly I say it does!
10) I have 86 of Grace Livingston Hill’s books. I forget the exact number but she wrote more than 100 books. Living books put them out in the 90’s, Bantam put them out in uh I think it was the 60s and 70s. There was some hardback reprints from Revell. And then there were the hard back books that first came out from her. I have some of all of them. It’s my goal to have a complete set from all of them. I would looooove a complete set of first prints.
11) Man I’m not done yet? (Camy don’t think I’m getting to that 7 one. LOL) I prefer to not read historicals. (Which I know will make Robin happy.) But there are a few really good ones I’ve read. But I prefer contemporary. Not a big fan of fantasy scifi. Unless it’s done really well. (Like the series on fox a few years ago. Firefly. THAT I LOVED!) I LOVE Ronie’s book too!! LOL Other wise I love every genre I think.
12) I’ve never read a classic. LOL I know people are gasping all over the blogosphere. Get over it people. We all knew I wasn’t intelligent. LOL
13) Woohoo three to go!! Oh crap I still have three to do. I love to read while eating. I love to read while doing most things. I have a book stand set up right by my monitor so that I can read while working. LOL Pathetic, huh? Currently though I have the book closed in the book stand because it’s so dang good and I want to be able to get this written. (Marilynn Griffith’s book… Made of Honor.) I even take my book to restaurants if I can get away with it. Did last night. LOL
14) Uh… who made this thing up anyways?? Why 15?? What made that the magic number? 14? Nah, can’t have that, that isn’t enough facts about people and their books! 16? No way! Are you insane?? That’s too many facts to have to read! Okay a real fact. I have HUGE issues with reading nonfiction. Except the bible… that I love. I just can’t seem to be able to do it. And frankly it ticks me off. I have several books that I want to read that I just can’t force myself to read. “Revolution with in” for instance. I’m going to read it soon. “Blue Like Jazz” as well. Oh and what’s the one from Anne Lamott, “Traveling Mercies”
15) One more to go. Uh, well. hmmm. I can’t remember the last secular book I’ve read. Oh wait. That’s a lie. LOL It was one of my client’s books. When you’re in the acknowledgements it’s kinda rude not to read the thing! LOL So beyond her books… I can’t remember the last one I read. Wow.
YAY! I’m finished! And I’m going to tag Rhonda… LOL Let’s see if she reads my blog. I think everyone else has been tagged. If not… comment below and I’ll edit this to include your name. LOL
Blessings Y’all!!
So I was thinking... Ha that's what always gets me in trouble... and yet I’m always thinking even though I like to pretend I’m incapable of doing that.
I was thinking about blogs. When I started this blog I didn't want anyone to know that it was me writing it. Hence the name at the top. Txtippytoes. That's a nickname a friend gave me many, many years ago, actually she just called me tippytoes, I added the tx just because I can. LOL
I’m not even sure why I ever got a blog to begin with. I don’t like to share of myself. I hate it actually. I frustrate people because I don’t share more of me with them. Not the day to day crap. The real deep inside me. So I like to think that it was a Holy Spirit inspired thing. Because there has been a lot of good come out of this blog. It’s made me dig deeper and be more open. I don’t know about you but this blog has ministered to me. God has so many times used this blog to take me to a deeper level, to reveal something in me that I didn’t even know was there… or maybe that I was in denial about it. So yeah while I hope that some of my nutty rambles might have helped someone the purpose of this blog has been to take me deeper.
I let one person know about my blog, (Danica you are to blame for all of this. LOL) and somehow it snowballed. Once people started finding out who I was, I started going to other blogs and doing the blogging networking thing. I have a pretty good size readership now. God only knows why you come back, but you do.
I have a lot of friends that have jumped on the blog bandwagon to network and to put their name out there to advance their soon to be blossoming writing career. And their blogs are about writing. Robin and I were talking about this today and she pointed out to me that my blog isn’t a writing blog. She’s right. This blog is about my journey. The journey God has set me on in this time in my life. But I do talk about writing. Because it is a huge part of my life. Even if I was to never write another word on a wip in my life, writing will always be a huge part of my life. I understand it. I am surrounded by it. I love everything about words, books, authors and writers. I love the business of writing. All aspects of the business. I understand the marketing and PR of writing. Of needing to get your name out there for future editors and agents to take notice of who you are. For you to get a built in readership. I understand all that. And for people like Robin who is great at this sort of thing more power to you sister. I don’t know that I want to play the game.
And it’s funny, I’ve advised other people on how to do exactly what Robin is doing. Part of my business is setting up blogs for authors and writers. And I tell them how to get people reading their blog. I know how to do it. I’ve done it in fact, that’s how I’ve got the readership I have. But to me it seems if I started gearing this blog in that direction I’m selling out. That isn’t what this blog is about. I know for me personally… the blogs that I read all the time. The ones that I can’t get enough of. Yeah they are writers and authors blogs but it isn’t all about writing. They talk about writing because it is a huge part of their life but it’s about the journey. I don’t know. I’m all about the journey. If this screws me with future editors and agents… and what have you well then I will cross that bridge when I come to it. That’s not to say that I will never gear that way because as Robin so kindly pointed out I’m not where she is in her writing career. And she’s right. She’s on the verge, she’s ready, and she has stuff out all over the place. I’m not there.
That brings me back to the name of my blog. I’ve been thinking for a while that I wanted to change to blogger. Doesn’t have the ads at the top… especially the one that talks and freaks Neen out and I can have my name in the URL. What do y’all think?
Blessings y’all!
Hey… I have a critiquing service to recommend to y’all. Yes I know my business does that too but…this one is specialized.... and she’s a friend to boot. So hello I’m promoting a friend like I know she would my business.
Hi! My name is Camy Tang, and I have a critique service called The Story Sensei.
A novel's structure is like a button-down shirt. It can be mis-buttoned so that the story elements aren't quite in the right places or emphasized enough, making the manuscript disjointed.
I also know that writers are DIRT POOR (I'm one of them), and many can't afford to hire a freelance editor to go through their entire manuscript (which costs anywhere from $300 to $3000) and identify structural flaws.
I offer a cheaper, specialized alternative.
For only $40, I will do a high-level structural critique of your story using a 2-page single-spaced synopsis and a chapter-by-chapter synopsis. I'll look for things like:
• Good pacing, strong sense of movement
• Setting as a character
• Unique story premise
• Voice
• Clear story arc--beginning, middle, end
• Inciting Incident
• External goals
• Internal goals
• Obstacles/conflict
• Epiphany/sacrifice
• Black Moment
• Flaws
• Unique/original characters
• Secondary characters--goals, depth, contribute to the story
You can find more information on my website, including testimonies from writers who have benefited from my services: http://www.camytang.com/sensei.html
Thanks! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to email me.
Camy
There I was, arms lifted high (okay one arm… the other hand was gripping the pew in front of me). Worshiping and praising. Ignoring everyone around me (hello these people really need clapping lessons. But that’s another story.)When God starts speaking to me, (now, this might not be the exact words, if He even said words but there is no mistaken the intent of this. I might embellish a little because hello I’m a story teller it’s what I do. LOL) “Yes, you are content in where I have you. Yes, you have no doubt I put you where you are. Yes, you believe you have been blessed by me putting you there. BUT you haven’t thanked me for it.”
Well by golly; knock me over with a feather. What was that Lord? Eh? “You haven’t thanked me for it.”
Can you say “ruh-ro”? You sure I haven’t thanked you? I mean you yourself just said I am content here, I have no doubt you put me here and that I believe I’ve been blessed here!! “Thank me.”
(So btw I did that night, this was last Sunday, and EVERY SINGLE THING I thanked Him for I was slapped with Monday. But that’s another story and not what this blog is about.)
So seeing as it’s Thanksgiving week and God told me I haven’t thanked Him… I thought I would take this opportunity to thank Him. Now normally if it’s something everyone is likely to be doing I won’t want anything to do with it. I have a problem with people that only thank God for things at Thanksgiving. (ha I don’t have much room to talk if God had to point this out, eh?)
I am ever so thankful for this weird-twisted-life changing-wound healing-extrovert making-worthy revealing-self-discovery journey that the Lord has set me on.
I’m thankful for this itty bitty room that I live in with my parents… hey when God tells you to stay put you stay put, eh?
I don’t say much about my family but I’m thankful for them too. We aren’t the Cleavers… but then again who the hell wants to be???
This next section I’m going to be thankful for is friends and people God has put in my life. I’ve debated with myself for hours if I should name them. Because unavoidably I’ll forget someone and hurt their feelings and that is not my intent. I can truly say that I’ve been blessed with a lot of people in my life in the last year. My heart bursts to over-flowing with all the people in my life, and it’s really quite strange considering how much I dislike people, how much I love being a hermit. So I’m going to make an attempt here to acknowledge those people. I’m not doing this so that they write and tell me how great I am. I want them to see how thankful I am, I want to acknowledge before God and all the people that read this blog what a blessing they are and that I couldn't even hope to be half the blessing to them that they are to me.
Pammer, my sissy, I’m so thankful for you. God knew what He was doing that weekend that He had us both stalking each other, didn’t He? I don’t regret a moment of that or this past year in becoming your sister. Love you!
Dineen, girl, I thank God for you. I think I’ve mentioned to you how balanced our friendship is to me, you get more of me then anyone else, The way God has had me open up to you blows my mind. He’s made you very special to me in a very short period. (Even if I did have to pester you one late night just to get you to talk to me. LOL)
Paula, oh man, Paula, I can’t even begin to thank God enough for you. Out of everyone you have probably seen the biggest change in me in the last year. You get the deep heart stuff… and the weird rambley emails late at night. I love seeing my life through your eyes. You make me see things I’m too messed up to see at the moment. Most of your emails still make me cry like that second email you sent me that started this friendship off. You are one special lady!
Camy, ( I had this really great eloquent thought on Camy here. But Camy made me take it out because the cyber fuzzy wuzzies were making her puke. LOL But I know Camy loves me, and she gave me permission to say that.)
Eileen, even when I want to throw you from a balcony, I still thank God for you. LOL Even though I’m sure I never act like it I am thankful for your friendship and everything you do. I have no doubt that God placed you in my life to get me out of this box, to stretch me. I also know you worry about overstepping my boundaries… let me reassure you, even if I don’t like it, if I know it’s God I’m not going to fight it. And there was only once that I started to throw a tootsie roll at you… and I’m sure you can guess for what. (tootsie roll… inside joke people!) Thank you for your friendship… AND YOUR COUCH!!! (Leave me that couch in your will!!)LOL
Janice, awwww, Janice, do you know how special you are? I thank God for you. A year ago I met you for the first time and you said good thing about me after only knowing me a couple days, you liked me. You were the first person I ever believed that said good things about me. I thank God for the special friendship He has grown between us.
Ronie, I’m thankful for you. I’ve known you for such a short time and yet so easily do I open up to you… I have no doubt where to go when I need back up! I look forward to seeing how our friendship grows over the coming year.
Robin, yes I thank God for you too. LOL How could I not? You have to be the most twisted person I know and yet I trust you completely to pray for me. You make me laugh on a daily basis… God knows I need that… I’m to dang serious all the time!! (Yes I may bitch about you calling when you do but my day isn’t the same without your call waking me up. LOL)
Michelle, I thank God for this new friendship that God has shoved in my direction. You’ve quickly become an every day part of my life. (It’s because I’m cute, right? LOLOL) I can’t wait to see what He has in store for you this year.
Sammi, I’m thankful for you too. You won’t let me hide no matter how much I want too.
The Gal Pals, I thank God for y’all… well for y’all being y’all! Y’all were very accepting of me from the get go.
Claudia, I thank God for you. I don’t know you that well and yet God has given me a love and respect for you that is out of this world. Every word you write is a blessing to me in one way or another. Sometimes all it is is showing me I’m not crazy. (I look forward with great pleasure to see what God has in store for you in the next few years!)
Danica, I thank God for you too. You regularly kick my butt… you always tell me like it is. It's truly an honor to list you here with the friends that God has blessed me with.
Angie P, Mary G, Susan W, Rachel H, Rhonda G, Tracey B, Sharen, Marian, and Jan you’ve all blessed me in more ways then one in the last year, most of you have blogs that just blow my mind every time I read them (they speak to me, they soothe me, they make me laugh, they minister to me.) . Some of you are friends, some are just people that I have been blessed to meet, but you all bless me and I thank God for you.
Brandilyn C, I thank God for you every day. The fact that you pray for me and care is such a blessing. God has used you in my life more than once. You’re an extraordinary woman of God!
Okay that ends the friendship portion of the evening, I’m sure I’ve forgotten someone, it was not intentional. There are so many people in my life that you’re just going to have to take my word for it that I’m truly blessed and thankful in this area of my life, my cup runneth over.
I’m thankful for the author I work for, she’s brilliant. (Well hello she hired me didn’t she? LOL)
I’m thankful for this business that I’m all of a sudden a business partner in.
I’m thankful for ACFW. And this writing talent God gave me.
I’m thankful for ACCF.
I’m thankful for this relationship that God is drawing me closer in. For Him teaching me how to do this. I’m thankful that He is teaching me how to be worthy.
Oh! Let’s not forget Starbucks!!! LOL
Okay I could go on… and maybe over the next couple days I will but for now that’s it.
I’m very thankful for all of you that read my blog… even if you never comment.
Blessings y’all!!
I’ve had something on my mind yesterday evening and today. I think God is trying to show me something. I’m not sure I can articulate it in a way that anyone can understand, beyond me. But I’m going to try.
Yesterday on the way back from a business meeting Eileen pulls off onto a back road and gets out of the car, makes me get out and into the drivers seat. And made me drive. (20 miles. Back roads) Now for those that don’t know, I don’t drive. I don’t have my license. I don’t know that I want it. When I was a teenager we never had the money to pay for drivers ed. Then after I became an adult… I figured I’ve gone this long without it. My mom doesn’t drive. Her mom didn’t drive til she was 65. I don’ t know it’s just not something I thought was really important. Or so I thought.
Sitting here I feel like God showed me something. In regards to my writing. (Yes I know I keep changing subjects. Stay with me.) I feel like He showed me the different levels all my friends are in regards to writing. And where I am and where I should be right now.
He showed me how I hate having anyone above me. Below me is alright, even with me is alright, but above me, I can’t handle it. I hate showing a weakness in needing help. Admitting that I don’t have a clue or am scared and don’t know what I am doing or what I should be doing. So as long as I do nothing I’m okay. I’m even with them… now this is just downright stupid because that isn’t the case at all but it’s how my mind works.
Am I making any sense? Okay. Here you go.
In regards to driving. I waited so long to do anything about it and as a result I’m scared out of my ever loving mind to do it. But I can’t say that because hello that makes me weak and puts someone over me. As long as I act as if I don’t care that puts me on even footing with them.
With writing. I’ve watched friends who started out knowing less than me or was at the same level as me and now they have all surpassed me. Is it because they are better than me? Nope. Is it because they have more talent? Nope. (All though on that one I’m not all that sure, I have some awesomely talented friends.) It’s because I hate showing weakness and can’t ask for help. Just think where I would be if it wasn’t for that. I sabotage myself.
SO I have to learn how to not do that…
Blessings y’all!
I’ve been thinking, yes, yes I know. Scary. Whatever.
This being open thing is so weird. Making myself vulnerable… man. Trusting…wow. And you know what’s even weirder about this? How did I become this way? How did I end up this shell of a person that God has to show me who I am?
I was saved at the age of 5/6 years old. I know a lot of people don’t think a child of that age can make that decision and it be real. Trust me it was real. I remember it. I remember being little and the love I had for Jesus was just overwhelming. The love I had for others was huge because of Jesus. I remember vividly how I used to pray when I was little. Man, I could quote scripture like no bodies business. And had total faith that God could heal me. It didn’t trip me up at all that He didn’t heal me because I knew He was God and could do whatever He wanted.
My parents… I don’t remember a time where mom wasn’t a Christian. I do remember back before dad came back to God. But he came back when I was 6/7. And they raised my brother and I up right. There willingness to go wherever God says is where I get my willingness from.
The confidence I had then. In God, in myself and in my relationship with him.
When did I lose that? How? Where did I go wrong that I turned into this mere shadow of a person that God has to show me how to be around people? How to feel? How to trust? To learn my self worth. To see who I am in Him. How to be confident. (And even stranger... through all these I never stopped seeking God and His will for my life.)
You know, most people they have really good reasons for it. They were abused, neglected, etc etc. I don’t have a reason like that. I don’t have a reason for me turning in on myself.
I child couldn’t be more loved than the way I was/am by my mom. She’s has always wanted to be a mom. That’s all she has ever wanted. In fact that is her first memory is of wanting to be a mommy. Personally, I think it was because her parents weren’t the greatest and she wanted to make up for that. (BTW they were wonderful grandparents. They changed in their older years) Now, mom she has the reasons to be like I am.
And dad. He loves me, he doesn’t show it all that well but I understand why. (LOL If you met his parents you would too.)And again, he has reasons to be like I am.
I didn’t have a childhood like either of them had. It wasn’t the easiest childhood. We were poor. I’m not sure I knew it. I mean I knew we didn’t have money but I didn’t really mind. When we couldn’t afford gas… we cooked outside on the grill… my brother and I loved that! Nothing like breakfast cooked out on a fire. My brother and I always had very active imaginations so we had no problem getting by on less. We never starved…. All though I will say that 3-month period, where all we ate was beans… I couldn’t look at a bean for 20 years. Beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner is odd (FYI When you eat beans that much… it’s really sad when it starts tasting like good food… or God’s mercy. Those beans tasted like Whataburgers a lot! LOL). Ate a lot of ramon around ten… still can’t eat those. LOL
So all in all, wasn’t a bad childhood. In my teens? I don’t know. Maybe that’s when I started changing. I have mentioned before the thing I had to surrender this summer that I know a huge chunk of my unworthiness comes from. I guess it’s possible that this all stems from that. (Some of you have heard that story. I’m still not ready to share it in such a public forum but if you are curious email me, I just might tell you… seeing as God keeps making me share it.) But I don’t think so. Some how I think God has other things yet to be revealed to me.
I do believe that a good portion is generational. On both sides of my family all the generations going back are the same, same issues. And I know I’ve done genealogy research on them. So yeah it’s generational. But that’s not all. God isn’t done with me.
Slowly layer by layer He is peeling away each layer revealing more of me that He created to be. Not this outward shell of a person… but the beautiful Daughter of the King. Slowly I’m becoming who I am.
These days are passing over me ~At the speed of light ~And standing here in their shadows~ I'm silenced at the sight ~Like water on the wind I sense the change to come ~All that I've held in like teardrops run ~I am clay and I am water ~Falling forward in this order ~While the world spins 'round so fast ~Slowly I'm becoming who I am ~Nothing ever stays the same ~The wheel will always turn ~I feel the fire in the change ~But somehow it doesn't burn ~Like a beggar blessed I stumble in the Grace ~Reaching out my hand for what awaits ~I will live ~From my heart ~And I will catch the lines of love as they come ~Back to You ~I know they'll lead ~And into You ~I know I'll lean
~~Margaret Becker~~ Clay And Water
(Wow, this is SO not where I thought I was going to go tonight.)
Blessings y’all!
What a weird, weird day.
First, the ringing of the phone didn’t wake me up. LOL For those of you going “huh?” LOL Never mind. Second my butt was dragging, I just couldn’t do anything. Ugh.
But I received this really cool email today. It really blessed me. I had emailed this person… um Wednesday night? actually it ended up being like 4 am Thursday. I felt led to email her, to tell her a story. And her response was so cool. It blessed me greatly. So that was a high point.
Those plans I had the other day? Didn’t get the chance ‘til today. FAILED miserably at them BUT I did write 750 words today. So that’s a bad and not bad. LOL
I’ve been reading some really amazing stories lately. What bookstore can you buy them at, you ask? Well you can’t. They’re not under contract yet. But trust me when I say they should be. The talent in these women’s pinky finger measures more than I have in all of me. No, I’m not putting myself down it’s the truth. They rock! So when their books come out you will have to listen to me rave about them in here. LOL That incase you didn’t realize was a high point of my day.
Talking to a dear friend tonight about God working in her life and it being a process. And the journey he has taken me on. It’s an amazing one. Some days I can’t see what He is doing but I know He is. There’s just too much for there not to be. But it’s this process and just because you don’t see anything doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Think about it, you’re on the potter’s wheel. And it’s spinning around and around… how well do you think you are going to see if you are spinning? God’s done a lot in the last year or so of my life. Everyone says they see it, I don’t always but I trust them.
Okay I really need to stop blogging when I have nothing to say.
And seeing as I typed this whole message with my eyes closed… sounds like a good time to go to bed, huh?
Do me a favor, a wonderful friend of mine is having her 40th birthday on Sunday and her party Friday night. I dearly wish I could be there but since I can’t, I ask that y’all go tell her happy birthday! Please click here for her blog.
Okay the plans I had, didn’t materialize. It turned out I had to do actual real work. You know, the stuff that one gets paid for. Go figure. LOL And for those that asked yeah those plans were kinda writing related. Maybe tomorrow. By the time I got done with work my head was pounding so it just wasn’t going to happen.
Oh, I got a rejection today, kinda. But I’m really cool with it. And I know the next thing I write for her won’t be.
LOL Totally changing subjects I think God just showed me something. LOLOLOL Wow. And nope you don’t get to know, have to think about this one for a little bit.
So here’s a thought for you… You think you have nothing to give, right? So what do you have to lose?
Micah 7:7-8 (The Message)
7But me, I'm not giving up. I'm sticking around to see what GOD will do. I'm waiting for God to make things right. I'm counting on God to listen to me.
Blessings y’all!
So I’m talking to this person in IM tonight. And God smacked me with a 2x4… reminding me of a convo I had with Neen a couple weeks ago. Hmm I think it was Neen. Anyways, we were talking about the fact that all my friends live in other states… well a few in
LOL So why did God remind me of this? Because this person I was talking to… we have a writers group at church. It’s small. Anyways this person is part of that group and in the last two weeks, I’ve reached out to two people (her being one of them.) in this group trying to encourage them in their writing… they’re really good. So the point? God’s like “and what if I want you to have friends?” No clue if these people will end up being that… the point is I need to stop telling God no on these issues. My plans are not His…
So I have plans for tomorrow. That is if get sleep tonight. But seeing as it is almost 4 prob not. It's just an idea that came to me and I thought I would give it a shot. Plans that I don’t plan on sharing with y’all just incase I fail at them. Because let’s face it… some of you are freaks and would hound me about it. LOL But I still love ya!
Blessings y’all!
I’m better than you did you know that? Yeah shocked me too. I apparently have this attitude that I put myself above people. This is something God showed me this week. And trust me it isn’t a easy pill to swallow. There are two different aspects to this.
First one. God has granted me the gift of discernment and a prophetic gift… which I have a tendency to sound all knowing or act all knowing. And that’s not my intent… or maybe it is. I don’t know. But it’s wrong.
Second one. I tend to put myself in the roll as “good friend”, always there to listen, I will ask you how you are doing… and mean it on a deeper level than just being polite in my asking. And that puts me above you. Which makes me better. Which means I can hide me because let’s be honest the majority of people LOVE to talk about themselves. So they forget that I have stuff going on too because I’m so good about making you feel comfortable to talk. So hello we know I like to hide, hate being open. And I pride myself on being a good friend. (Which I guess with this revelation it means I’m not.)
But here’s the kicker. I do this because it validates me. Which comes from unworthiness (yeah I know y’all are tired of hearing about that… but hey I have to deal with it and it’s my blog. LOL) I also think I have the tendency to think that I’m not worthy of having friends… or having people know me, the real me, so by being the good friend… I get the benefit of friendship. Hmmm not sure how much sense that made… but surely y’all are used to that from me by now.
And just so you know, I’m not sitting here thinking when people are telling me what’s up with them, “blah blah blah they talk a lot but hey I’m a good friend.” Not at all. Despite my screwed upness I really do care about y’all. I feel your pain when y’all talk about it or avoid talking about it.
Anyways, I’m sure that this will be taken the wrong way but for some sick reason I feel the need to be honest here. I’m not sure of all the ramifications of this seeing as this is something He is still showing me about. But there you have it.
Blessings y’all.
Dude the insecurity in friendships is blowing my mind… I have this new role in my friendships that I’m not used too. When did this stuff happen? LOL (Before y’all freak on me, I happen to be secure in y’alls love of me, not what I’m talking about.)
Okay, insecurity, I’m used to that. Lived with it my whole life. But I was secure in that insecurity, if that makes sense? I knew what life held and I knew I was insecure about it. But I still knew what life held. So I was secure in the insecurity. There was a status-quo. I knew what was expected of me. Even with my weird upbringing, there was a status-quo to it.
Who I am in God… well you know the strange thing is I am more secure in that (because He is teaching me all about that.) but I’m also more insecure. Before I just never thought about it. I avoided thinking about stuff like that. It was just better to leave it alone, you know?
The whole deal with being more open and not suppressing my emotions… that is why I’ve been able to finally have friendships that are worth anything, I know this, but it’s been so much in such a short period of time that I’m still trying to process it all. (Yes, yes I know I’m a freak. Get over it.)
Writing… Lord we aren’t even going to talk about that.
The last year and especially the last couple months, God’s just shaken up my world big time. So that’s where I’m at today. Not much point in this post.
I’m such a loon. I decide to do “A” but procrastinate on that. So then I decided I should do “B” well guess what? I procrastinate on that too… but oddly I have been known to procrastinate on “B” with “A”…. see? I’m a freaking loon.
Oh y’all remember the whole surrender thing? Was slammed again today. Today was a rough day. But I’m good now… not that that doesn’t mean you couldn’t pray for me… that I would gladly take. Gonna need all the prayer I can get especially from those that I love.
Blessings y’all!
Man, church was good today! Worship was awesome! Anointed! It was nice. Pastor’s message was right to me. Spoke to me like you wouldn’t believe. I wish I took better notes to maybe convey some of what blessed me so… but I didn’t. And I wouldn’t even begin to do it justice. But it spoke right into my life, my situation.
Anyways.
So during worship. Singing the song… uh…with the phrase in it ‘all I need is you.’ And that is my hearts cry. It really is. I’m so willing to go and do what ever He wants me to do. I swear it is like engraved on my heart or something. Which is really cool.
But here’s what I realized during worship. And I kinda find it hard to wrap my brain around. My personal relationship with Jesus is soooo far from where it needs to be. (Yes, I know it will never be perfect, that’s not what I’m talking about.) I just came to the realization that… the amount of time I spend with Him is practically nil. Reading His word, talking to Him… practically nil. Granted I do almost always have worship music on and I get into it.
But here is the kicker… for those of you that know me. You know that God has been doing some interesting things in my life in the last year. It’s incredible. I’m blown away with how far He has brought me in the last year. I’m so unbelievably blessed.
He has taken this vessel that while I am willing, I don’t seek Him in the way I should, I don’t spend time with Him the way I should, I don’t read His word the way I should. And yet He is moving and working in my life. He is leading me. Molding me, shaping me into the woman of God that He created me to be. So the question is… if I put more effort into my relationship with Him… where would I be?
Blessings Ya’ll!
Well... Here's how I feel tonight and if the song doesn't make any sense to you... well I ain't going to explain it. LOL read the previous post and use your brains folks. (LOL Sheesh, can I be any more sarcastic? Why do you keep coming back? LOL)
Title: I'm Gonna Take That Mountain
Artist: Reba McEntire
I'm gonna take that mountain
I was born a stubborn soul
Ain't afraid of the great unknown
Or a winding road that's all uphill
This is just a stumbling block
Intimidating wall of rock
If you think this broken heart will break my will
I'm gonna take that mountain
Ain't nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain't no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain't just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I'm gonna take that mountain
It's overwhelming looking up
I know when it's the challenge of
me against this heartache to survive
I may slip and I may fall
But even if I have to crawl
I'll break through to the healing side
I'm gonna take that mountain
Ain't nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain't no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain't just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I'm gonna take that mountain
(Instrumental Bridge)
Ain't just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
Yeah yeah
I'm gonna take that mountain
Ain't nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain't no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain't just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I'm gonna take that mountain
I was born a stubborn soul
This is just a stumbling block
I'm gonna take that mountain
Frustrated. Oh so frustrated. LOL I’m so frustrated I even wrote a really bad poem about it. And no you don’t get to see it… did you not read what I said? It’s BAAAAAAD.
God has gifted me with some amazing people in my life. Their talent for writing is mind blowing. We are talking so good that I wouldn’t be surprised if 4 of them had contracts before the next conference. (What does this have to do with being frustrated? Hold your freaking horses; let me toot my friend’s horns.) And trust me when their books come out… you will be reading all about it in here and I’ll hound your butts to buy the books. Yeah granted they have more to learn, but as a writer if you ever stop learning you might as well quit, what’s the point? But they are “there.” Ready to be pubbed “there.”
On to my frustration. I’m not “there.” Nowhere near “there.” I’ve come a long way in the last year. I acknowledge that. I’ve learned a lot. But there are things that I can’t grasp and prob never will. Oh, just to clarify before you people post this… I’m not comparing my talent to anyone else’s. I’m well aware that He gave us totally different gifts. Mine is just as unique as theirs is. And before you think this too… I’m not afraid of hard work. (Despite the fact that I keep telling y’all I’m lazy.)
So I’m working on this chicklit. It’s actually not that bad. It’s not “there” but it isn’t bad. But I hate it. The other thing I have to work on I love. I already know back-story on all the characters. I never know that stuff. It’s good. It’s going to be great. But I’m pretty sure I’m not ready to write it, to do it justice. So I work on the chicklit when things don’t conspire against me. (Trip, msword not working, funk… which btw really cool how the funk went away last night. God is so cool.)So I plod along on the chicklit and wonder am I right? Did I hear from God when I thought He showed me I was scared to rewrite it?
There are a lot of things in my life... that I’m not "there" yet... and I know that I will be and I can see it. But with writing, I don’t know that I will and I can't see it.
So here I sit. Frustrated. Questioning. Speaking of questioning… these words were spoken to me tonight, “Stop questioning the gift God gave you and rejoice!”
This book… all of them that I’m going to write is going to take more than I have. It’s going to have to be God. Because I’m greatly lacking here. Weak. I can’t do it on my own.
Take My Hand
Take my hand to the promise land
And on You I want to stand
‘Cause I cannot do it on my own
You're what I need and I need to be
Right by Your side ‘cause I cannot hide
Lord, I know that I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Without You I'm so alone
I am weak but You are strong
You pick me up when I'm falling down
And I am crying
Out to You inside of my heart
I need You, Lord, oh so, for the part
I want You to have my life, Jesus
I fall to my knees
And I'm begging You, please, oh, Lord
Won't You change me
Make me new from the inside out
I want to shout out Your name
You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11
Blessings Y’all!
Not sure what’s up tonight. I’m in a “what the hell are you doing?” kind-a mood. I’m tired. Just tired. And I’m not talking lack of sleep tired. I’m also in pain. Going into a cave and staying there sounds good tonight. Man, I’m even snapping at people tonight. I need to snap out of this crap.
I have a group of blogs that I always comment on. Some people, I love them dearly. Some, I respect. Others I think I’m supposed to encourage. Generally, I don’t say anything worth reading but the last couple days I’ve struggled with even that much. Can’t help but wonder what’s the point. And tonight, I feel like not reading them anymore. But you know, the thing is, I love these people. Them and their blogs inspire me, encourage me, uplift me, teach me, love me, and hold me up when I can’t stand on my own. So of course, I’m going to continue reading.
So is there a point to this post? Nope. Sorry. Nothing deep here. Just a shallow, shallow pool. In desperate need of a refreshing dunk.
Oh, I forgot to put this up. Another small pub credit. Not sure how much longer it will be up though… so run, don’t walk, and check it out. Click here.
Three posts in less than a day… how cool is that? LOL For those that said they missed me, well here ya go.
Willing. You know the funny thing about being willing? God will take you some unusual places in some unusual ways. To the point that everyone around you thinks you are insane and not hearing from God. Because no way would He do such a weird thing.
I have news for you folks. He does weird and unusual all the time. Frankly the more unusual the more you have to rely on Him... gee you think maybe that is why He does it?
You know I might not have had the best upbringing. There maybe things that I have judged my parents for (Nope not going into that.) But I do have to give them credit, they were always willing to do or go wherever God asked. That was instilled in me at a young age. I am thankful for that. I have followed that example. It certainly makes life interesting.
Philippians 1:12-14 12Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
You know, the interesting thing about this… most people would say oh, satan is coming against me, I’m in chains, woe is me. But Paul knew he was there because Christ wanted him there. And he was willing to be there. Paul being there served a purpose. Everyone there knew he was there in chains because of Christ and as a result they all learned about Christ.
You know, I may not want to be living in this room… but I’m willing BECAUSE I know this is where God wants me. And dispute it or not but He has done some amazing things in my life since being here. That’s why I always say I’m so blessed and people will look at me like I’m insane, as if I don’t know I live in one room with my parents and I sleep on a cot… you know what? Get over it. It’s a total God thing.
Willing.
Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.
Blessings Y'all!
Looky! Two posts, one day! LOL I even have a third one in my head if I can get to it before I leave for dinner and starbucks.
Recently God hooked me up with these three really cool chicks. (Hmm I should get their links up soon. Dineen is.) I knew D before Nashville and loved her, but since then I think I’ve gotten to know her more. The other two (Ronie and Robin) I knew of but hadn’t really talked to them.
With Robin… it was just a simple matter of us both having this really twisted sense of humor. (God hooked me up with a fellow twisted sister. ROFL)
Ronie… God had me in the right place at the right time when she needed prayer.
I don’t normally click with people all that fast. So I’m amazed at how fast I clicked with them. Total God thing.
Those three… they have this really cool group dynamic. I think that God has truly blessed them with each other. It’s a very rare unique group. I won’t go into all the details but God has used them a lot in the last few weeks to show me stuff.
And I’ve changed. Used to, being on the fringes of a group like this would freak me out. I would think 1) I never could be a part of the group especially seeing as it was already formed before I came along but I would want to be in the group. 2) I have nothing to offer the group.
But now it doesn’t matter to me if I’m ever a part of the group. I’m friends with these wonderful women of God and I’m truly blessed. And I have something to offer them. Where God has me right now… is exactly where I need to be. I’m learning a lot from these three.
I'm not sure the point of this post, but I will say that God doesn't make mistakes with the people He puts in your lives. They are there for a reason. It may be for a season, it may be for a lifetime, but there is a reason. He brings people along side you to help you on the journey He has put you on and for you to help them. He can make connections where you never thought there would be. He can use you in another persons life like you never thought you could be. And He will bring these amazing people into your life that you are humbled and honored to call them friend. In this aspect I'm greatly blessed because beyond these three I mentioned, there are others. God has been really amazing to me with the people He has given me. I would name them here but I'm sure I would forget someone (Only mentioned the three above because I'm floored by their bond.). Just know that I'm humbled and honered with the people that are in my life that love me... and I love them as well.
Blessings Y’all!
I have a lot of things on my mind this week. God is doing a lot of things in me. I’m always so amazed at all the junk in us that we don’t know is there til He starts pulling it out. Things that start out so small and yet affect your life so greatly. (Like that one big issue that I had to surrender… it was something so small but I let it affect everything in my life.)
Have you ever seen creeping ivy on a house? It starts out as a little shoot. Innocent. Non-intrusive. But as it grows up the side of the house it spreads and covers every inch of the house til you can't see the house for the ivy. The ivy will start to creep into the walls and foundation damaging it, pulling the walls a part just enough for rain to get in… rotting them.
Fear is a lot like that ivy. It starts out small. Innocent. Non-intrusive. But it grows and spreads til you can't see yourself anymore because of the fear. It creeps into every bit of your life, damaging it.
Does fear do that to you?
God has been showing me a lot of areas in my life where there is a fear. And He seems to ripping them out. LOL Repairing the damage that it caused too.
Blessings y’all!
I was gone for a week... miss me? What? Nope? LOL That's what I thought.
Eileen, Me, & Lynn on the Riverwalk
Lynn Coleman was in town, doing some speaking engagements and book signings. I went with her for a couple days out of town to some speaking engagements... LOL Poor woman, had to deal with me for days. Then when we got back... I just never came home. LOL Stayed at Eileen's. Lynn left yesterday and I came home. Man, have I mentioned how much I love Eileen's couch? I got some of the best sleep while there. Had fun to boot.
Eileen, Lynn & me
Blessings y'all!
Seeing as it is
Speaking of writing. (Yes, we were speaking of writing, go up a couple sentences and see.) I’m rewriting the chicklit finally. (Yes, I should have done it already… bite me.) Got through the first three chapters this week and I’m having fun. Writing is actually fun.
I was talking to Ronie earlier this week and she was asking me what she could pray for me… well you know me, I am hemmed and hawed, God forbid I show need, you know? LOL Finally, she had a light bulb moment of her own. She told me that the Lord had showed her what to pray for me. So she is praying the wrath of God on me…
Oh wait… that’s not right, LOL, something about passion being stoked in me about my own writing. Which on one hand kinda freaks me out but on the other it’s really cool because I already see some of God’s hand at work in my writing.
(And yes for those that are curious, God did slap me upside the head several times this week on different issues.)
Also earlier this week, I was talking to someone about something that was going on with me, and I downplayed what was going on, like I usually do, she went on to talk, and I swear God asked me “why did you do that? You know she wants to know what’s going on with you, why won’t you tell her?” So I said wait and told her what was really going on. You know what she said to me? “Oh, I'm so glad you were honest about that...shows you're human, after all. I was beginning to wonder if you were an angel.” I snorted at the angel bit but then the rest of it sunk in. “Shows you’re human, after all.” Sobered me right up. How often do I downplay/cover up everything and people think I’m not human… perfect? I’m so far from that. She was actually the first of three people that God prodded me to be honest with that night. I need to be more open. Learn to trust. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I need to be a wide open book to everyone I come in contact with but I certainly need to be more open with those that I love. Evidently, I have trust issues too. (LOL I know, y’all are saying, well duh!) That’s something God was working on this week.
Remember that thing I surrendered that was so huge? (LOL Okay it was a really small thing that for some reason I let get so big that it screwed up my life for many years.) God prompted me to share it with three people this week… all in the same day I might add. And with each telling of the story the more free I am and the smaller it gets.
So back to my birthday. I’m 27 today. Age doesn’t freak me out. this is actually a really good age for me. I’m loving it. I’m loving discovering myself on this journey of self-discovery the Lord has set me on.
Blessings y’all!
Pain and suffering. Wrapped up in chains. So lost don’t know up from down. Up on a mountain. Down in a valley. Poor as dirt. Rich as all get out.
All crying for freedom.
Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
14 For everything we know about God’s word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.
Freedom is such a beautiful thing. I’ve recently received freedom in one area of my life. And I’m here to tell you when you let God have that control to take that hurt, that bondage and heal you, set you free… it’s a truly amazing thing. And it kind of has a domino effect. That one area of my life… which I might add was such a little thing that totally screwed me up… having freedom from that, has spilled over in other areas in my life. I’m so awed and humbled that He would do that for me. And you know, I don’t think I realized how tightly that area had me bound up til I was free of it. (And those that are curious, I’m talking about the thing God made me surrender a couple months ago. The one I fought with. It never occurred to me, even with surrendering it what freedom I would get from it. I knew that I would be free of it, but I’m FREE. Can you understand that? It’s so freaking cool.
Freedom is a big deal for me. God is always speaking to me about freedom. About a year ago He told me “You’re the writer you are given permission for freedom.” I’m not sure what all that means, what it all implies. But I do know this… 1) He called me a writer, 2) He said I was GIVEN permission for freedom. Now I don’t know about you but to me given permission for freedom doesn’t mean to me that I have freedom, I have permission for it… that means I have to accept it. If you tell your kid they have your permission to have a cookie and they don’t get it… do they have that cookie? They have to accept it.
Blessings Y’all!
These aren't the lyrics I wanted to post... I can't remember the name of the song I want to post so I can't find the lyrics, brilliant, huh? LOL
Ginny Owens
Free
Turning molehills into mountains,
Making big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens'
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
Afraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail -
This is how it's been.
Till the day you pounded on my heart's door,
And you shouted joyfully,
"You not a slave anymore"
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even jofful noise is music to me
And you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I have set you free
My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity
and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
It's then You're singing to me,
As you remove my chains
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even jofful noise is music to me
And you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made
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